Summer Before

My name is Derrick Antoniak, and this is my blog on being a medical student.

Right now it is July 5, and my first day of medical school orientation is scheduled for August 18. It somehow still doesn't seem like something that I'm actually going to do. I've been reading a lot about what the experience will be like, from the emotions involved with dissecting a human cadaver to the long hours spent studying the overwhelming amount of material thrown at us in the first few weeks, but whenever I think about it and try to visualize myself doing those things, it always seems like another version of me, not the one that is here now writing this.

I actually have known the exact date I would start med school since mid-September of last year. I applied to the early decision program at UNMC, which means I was to be accepted or declined on October 1. As that date approached, a lady in the admissions office who knew me pretty well from the previous year's admissions cycle when I had not gotten in, decided to save me the anxiety of those last two weeks. She actually called me on September 18 to tell me that they had met on my file and that she wanted to be the first to congratulate me.

It is wierd to think about how long ago that conversation took place and I am still looking forward to starting orientation in 6 weeks. Nonetheless, here I am. I have recently started a program online through UNMC called 'Fast Start'. It is a pre-matriculation program designed to ease the transition from normal person to first-year-med student. There is some orientation information on health insurance, emergency procedures, etc. along with a guide to the first year written by the new second-year students. There is also a short anatomy course designed to get people familiar with the terminology and with the blackboard system. I am also reading some books I found at Borders about being a med student and being a physician. Overall, I am trying to get ready for what will certainly be a life-changing time in my life.

This week I will go to work at 6:00 AM each day. I will wear the oldest jeans I have with a t-shirt and workboots. I will sweat, I will undoubtedly get dirty. At lunchtime I will eat a quick sandwich and then lay down on a dirty concrete floor to try to get a quick nap before going back to work. I will leave work with new holes and stains on my clothes, new cuts and bruises on my hands. I will swear and make jokes with my co-workers. And at the end of the week, I will get paid. Except for a few of my co-workers who know me well, I will seem like any other construction worker on the jobsite. None of the things I just described, however, will be included in a description of my daily routine in a mere 6 weeks. The scariest part is that I really don't know what will.

So, I am finally feeling that a seed of anxiety has been planted, and I'm sure that it will grow nicely by the time orientation actually rolls around. I hope that people will read this blog and find it interesting, but I don't really expect that, so this is mainly intended to serve as a journal. Hopefully, by the time I finish med school, I will have a valuable collection of thoughts stored here on this blog.