Day 4

My name is Derrick Antoniak, and this is my blog about being a medical student.



While many of my classmates are talking about being overwhelmed by the worlkoad we've been given this week already, I am extremely happy to be where I am now. I don't know why, but today, and a little last night, I started thinking about how hard I've worked to get here, and it just didn't matter how hard I've been working these past few days. I am happy. When I set out a few years ago my ultimate goal was to become a physician, which I have not yet achieved. I have, however, gotten over the major stumbling block in most people's road to joining this profession by getting into this school, so it really is, in a sense, downhill from here. Meanwhile, back in the real world:



Yesterday, my dissection technique felt like it was getting better. I was able to expose the subclavian, axillary, and brachial artery and most of its branches without destroying them, which was the theme of day 1 and most of day 2. Today, though, we had to separate the muscles of the arm and anterior forearm, and it was a super slow go. When lab ended we were a little behind on our dissection, and had no time whatsoever to actually learn the names of anything we were exposing. We voted to stay late tomorrow instead of tonight, which works well for me, since Joanna works tomorrow night anyways. I spent a lot of time studying embryology last night, which so far is tougher conceptually than the anatomy (for me at least). And today, I contacted Dr. Roy, a pediatrician in Bellevue with whom I will be spending some afternoons as part of our 'Longitudinal Clinical Experience'. We are going to meet next Thursday to figure out each other's schedules, which is nice, because I will be able to get the first exam out of the way before I actually have to go work in her clinic.



Right now I'm procrastinating, so I'd better get back to work. Today's topic of study: placenta and fetal membranes, and maybe some muscles and nerves of the forearm.

First Impressions

My name is Derrick Antoniak, and this is my blog about starting medical school.

I planned on writing about the latter half of orientation week in detail, until I experienced it, and it wasn't worth writing about. I will mention a couple of things. The so-called 'white coat' ceremony was not at all as glorious as I thought it would be, but something cool happened afterwards. I realized that people actually wanted to be in my shoes that day. There was a group of pre-meds interviewing, and on their tour of the building they passed us in the hall with looks of envy. My cousin's little 4-year-old thought it was cool to play with the toy doctor set my grandma bought as a joke, and he enjoyed it that much more when I donned the white coat and pretended to listen to his heart. So, for a brief moment, I felt as if I had accomplished something.

And then I came back to the real world. In this new real world I may not have much time to write blogs, so the ones I do write will be thrown together in a few minutes like the one you are reading. I'm two days in, and here is my experience so far:

At 8 on Monday we had to report to the gross lab for the back and scapula dissection. After about 30 minutes of introduction to the lab, we uncovered our cadaver and began dissecting. We have a larger male cadaver, so flipping him over, our first ever task of med school, was a disaster. Our group of four could barely do it, and in the process, the cloth meant to cover his face until the actual face dissection just fell off, and we got an unexpected early look at the man who donated his body so we could learn. We dissected for three hours, and when it was time to go to lecture, we had come nowhere close to finishing the day's dissection. Changing out of the scrubs for lecture is complicated by the fact that there are about 80 lockers in the locker room's one aisle, nearly all of which are occupied by students who have the same exact schedule. We literally changed clothes shoulder to shoulder with one another with a line of students extending out the door waiting to get in. Immediately after lecture we went back to the lab, back to the scrubs, dissected for another two hours to finish that day's work. From the time we left lab at 2:30 to the time I went to bed at midnight, I could not get the smell of embalming fluid off my hands no matter how hard or long I scrubbed with every soap dispenser I came across.

The material is not too hard, but there is a lot of it already. It wasn't the hardest day of school I've ever faced, but I have to do it every day, so jumping right into a mid-semester study routine was obviously necessary on day 1. I did manage to get away long enough to attend Lee Terry's forum on energy and go to the gym with Joanna.

I am not stressed about passing. I am stressed because I found out that the top 6 in the class get a Regent's Scholarship, which I believe pays full tuition, and I feel like I'm capable and in need of that, so I'm really going to go for it.

"Make sure you go to the social events"

My name is Derrick Antoniak, and this is my blog about medical school orientation week.

So last Friday the guys at work bought me a steak for lunch and sent me on my way, hopefully never to return to the ranks of construction work. I left work, went to the gym, showered, drove home, and threw my work clothes from that day straight in the trash. Due to the wonders of Facebook, along with an almost overly social group of classmates, I was forced to make the transition from construction worker to med student (i.e. tone down the cusswords) in about two hours so that I could attend the M1 (first year med student) party at the Barleycorn.

That initial party was strange, to say the least. I don't typically go alone to bars where I know absolutely no one. Typically, everyone you pass by at a bar doesn't make eye contact and extend their hand to meet you. And when you meet people, you don't typically exchange a couple of minutes of small talk and then move on to the next shakeable hand. But this was the story of Friday night. I met a lot of nice people, though; I just hoped they would all be wearing nametags next time I saw them.

Back in June we received our Blackboard usernames and passwords so we could do the pre-matriculation program called "Fast Start". Part of this program was an unofficial guide to the first year, written by M2's (2nd year med student, see the pattern?). At least 5 different places in that guide stressed over and over "go to the social events during orientation week", "orientation week is the best week of the year", "my best M1 memory? Definitely orientation week", etc.

So here's the story of orientation week so far:

Day 1: Does this look like a face you can trust?





The first day we gathered in an auditorium. I was one of two people wearing a tie. Several of my eventual small group members were wearing shorts and t-shirts. I told Joanna that they would probably step it up a little the next day, and the other guys wearing slacks (and that other dude with a tie) would probably step it down. I decided that I would still wear the shirt and tie all week as planned. No offense to my classmates, but it's really not about what they think of me. It's about making a good first impression on people who are going to be evaluating me for the next four years and potentially helping me land a residency or job down the road. Nothing notable from orientation that day except how over-the-top everything in our new building is. We have THE best, biggest, and most technologically advanced facilities of any medical school in the country with the opening of the new building this fall (in jest, the dean said that would probably last a couple weeks).


I actually helped install some of this glass.



There are infinite places to study in this place.



I don' think this picture does justice to the size of that screen.


That night was a gathering at the Brazenhead at 8. At 9:40 they had to buy another keg because they had already finished the first four. I felt like I was forcing myself to be there. The few people I've gotten to be friends with, it was nice seeing them in that social setting, but after making an appearance I was ready to go. Most of my classmates are 22 or 23, graduated high school in '03, '04. I have enough to answer for when the background checks come through, so I don't feel the need to get rowdy every night this week and jeopardize all my hard work.

Well, it's noon on Wednesday, and not only is this getting too long, but I have a social event to get to (golf outing at 1). I guess I'll have to write a part 2 at the end of the week.

Closing In

My name is Derrick Antoniak, and this is my blog about trying not to die in a fiery motorcycle crash before fulfilling my four-year-long dream of starting medical school.

So, I have three days of construction work left, and I am just trying not to get hurt at this point. Last week I was sent to help install a huge mirror in a fancy new condo in downtown Omaha. For those of you who have never worked for a glass company for 8 or 9 years, most of the worst stories you hear around the shop table of horrific cuts and blood and guts come from broken mirrors. It's pretty simple: they break sometimes, and when they do, unlike other, safer types of glass, they break into huge, heavy, sharp pieces that you really strive not to be underneath of. So, needless to say, I will be glad when 3:30 comes this Friday, and I can give all my work jeans and boots to the Goodwill.

Things are falling into place now. I have the orientation schedule, a parking permit, one textbook (waiting for financial aid check for the rest), and even a day-by-day schedule for the first semester. Interestingly, we will not even step into the first day of class until August 25, but the first exam is scheduled for Saturday September 6.

Overall, the schedule doesn't look too overwhelming, other than the fact that "Mon. 8/25: Back and Scapular Region" means that on the first day of class, the very first thing that I will do at 8:00 AM will be to cut open a dead human body. I guess if you only looked at the left side of the schedule, where it shows the times we are required to be in lecture and lab, it would look like a real easy semester. But when you look at the right, and realize the amount of information we are supposed to learn in those short two-hour windows, it gets a little scarier. There is also individual lab time to consider. In Christine Montross's Body of Work, the author, a recent med schoool graduate, mentions a key-coded access door to the gross anatomy lab allowing students 24/7 access to their cadaver for study (Brian Fox, upon hearing this news, promptly asked me to take him with me after hours to check things out).

Realistically, though, I am not too worried about the workload. It wears me out, however, thinking about how many new people I have to meet next week. The situation sort of reminds me of how I feel about going to the gym sometimes. I love working out when I'm there, and I never leave without getting a great workout. But when I'm sitting at home, thinking about going, the process of putting together my gym bag, driving out there, hitting the locker room, etc. is too much of a pain.

I don't really mean that though; I am excited to meet my classmates. Although I worry that most of them will be a few years younger than me, and probably none of them will share my financial situation (i.e. trying to buy an island but can't stop accumulating debt). Oh well, the good thing is all I have to worry about is working as hard as I can. And with orientation week ahead, I am starting to feel the hunger that got me to this point.

Two more paychecks

My name is Derrick Antoniak, and this is my blog about almost being a medical student.

I have known for a long time that I would be giving up paid work when med school orientation rolled around, but it has just come to my attention and begun to sink in that I will only be getting two more paychecks from Keystone Glass this year, and that will be the end of my income for the next (at least) nine months. I guess I will have to be the lame-ass mooch on our New-Year's-Eve trip to Colorado, a trip that I am not honestly looking forward to with quite the fervor of some of my fellow ski/board buddies. It's not that I'm not excited; it's going to be an awesome trip in an awesome spot with my ridiculously awesome friends. It's just this pending pesky 21-credit-hour semester that seems to be occupying all my attention.

As I'm sitting here looking at the orientation schedule I just got via email, I'm starting to actually get nervous about being able to handle it all. Interestingly, this is the first time this thought has entered my head. I remember in the fall of 2003 when I was a senior at UNO with 105 credits and nowhere near graduating or knowing anything that would make me valuable as an employee. At that point I was doing the research (and soul searching) that would end up making me decide on medicine, and there was just no doubt in my mind that I could ace every class and become this phenomenal physician. Four years later, I have (so far) done just that. I literally aced everything since starting pre-med classes in the fall of '04, and if I look across the room right now I can see on display bachelor's degrees in both Spanish and medicinal chemistry. And NOW I'm getting nervous? When I had nothing but potential (see quote below) I wasn't nervous, but NOW I am? That can't be right, maybe I'm just dehydrated. It's pretty hot out.

I've hit you off with some pictures from our Wisconsin trip this summer.

"Potential means you ain't done shit yet." -Odious Lee, Bellevue West High School, c.1999